Humor: The Apple iCar Features

Long before the iPhone became a reality, Steve Jobs was planning to take Apple into the automobile industry with a full-fledged vehicle. Dubbed as the iCar, it has now been discussed in a rather deservingly sarcastic tone by a famous publishing. Details to follow right after the break.

It was almost two years ago when reports started hitting the Web about Jobs’ interest in producing a smart electric car, which preceded the release of the original iPhone. While these were rumors at best, reports started pouring in suggesting that not only is the iCar real, but Apple’s ambitious project has hundreds of employees working on it, where the vehicle will be able to drive and navigate by itself.

According to The Onion, the iCar is so overwhelmingly advanced, that being an Apple product, it will most probably defy the rather rational features we’ve come to expect. Apple products are no stranger to being targeted with sly sarcastic opinions on the features they offer, and honestly not to take anything away from Apple, but they could do better by not overhyping some features that are an industry standard.

The publishing takes a jab at Apple’s Retina display and its relative insignificance today, by saying that the windshield on the iCar will have enough pixels to out-do reality itself. Unsurprisingly, it is believed that Apple will have its own brand of gasoline to power up the car as well. Apple is rightly more concerned with security on its iOS devices, and as such The Onion paints a picture where every gear shift will require an iCloud login, because it has to be you changing the gear. Given Apple’s need for sleek designs, the iCar will be featuring “Sleek, unobtrusive airbags”.

    • Windshield features four times as many pixels as reality
    • Full vertical integration with Apple Gasoline
    • Driver prompted to sign into iCloud before each gear shift
    • Compatible with most major roads
    • Recommends new driving speeds based on user’s past favorites
    • Sleek, unobtrusive airbags
    • Cup holder
    • Windshield cracks easily, though car typically still works fine afterward
    • Sticker price of $85,000 drops to $199 with two-year Verizon contract
    • Wheels turn into rainbow pinwheels whenever car stalls
    • Lightweight but powerful enough to careen across six lanes of traffic and through guardrails of overpass
    • Comes with couple of cool Apple stickers

(Source: TheOnion)

You can follow us on Twitter, add us to your circle on Google+ or like our Facebook page to keep yourself updated on all the latest from Microsoft, Google, Apple and the Web.